inner silence..?????

Outside is a wonderful calm... a quietly cradling breeze...
Inside is chaos... a humongous mass of differentially melted metal...

A war... to cut lose of the chains that bind... some human, some metal!

A wish to walk on the grass and feel the dew... alone...

A song to sing... just so as to belt out the notes in the heart! (happy or sad, good or bad)

A need... to cut loose of all needs!!!

I know I'm sounding dark and enslaved... won't say I'm not feeling like that... just a phase maybe... or maybe I really need to break free!! Muddled still... a silent tempest raging inside...!

hug!!

A person very close to me had once said, "The best way to greet a person is by giving them a big, warm, bear hug!"

The though has stuck in my head!!

Here's a hug for all you guys out there..!!Ulterior motive: I can do wit a few hugs myself! (thats the bestest thing about hugs, when you hug someone you get hugged back!)

just us!!

"on the roof, in the rain!" and we would've sounded less wierd!!

But on mannu bhai's dio and singing "chal chal chal mere haathi, o mere saathi, chal le chal khatara kheench ke!" and "hum bhi agar bachhe hote, naam hamara hota babloo dabloo, khaane ko milte laddoo, to duniya kehti happy bday to you!"...

and... yes there's more! Suddenly behind an unassuming couple we go "babuji dheere chalna, pyar me zara sambhalna, hooo bade dhoke hain, bade dhoke hain is raah me!" :-D

All that and more with a sudden urge to go to the nearby dhaba (yes, Rajhasthan) and have chai in a pyaali (slurping away to glory)! Well, hunger struck! Ended up having ande ki bhurchi, boiled anda and fish!!!

Life had hit rock bottom! And we suddenly, in that moment of complete insanity found small joys large enuff to keep us going! :-)

Minor detail: me, mannu n nity were triply on a single dio!!! :-D

fragments...

good food and a walk with a great friend!

bad food, amazing dessert (made by one of the best chef's i've ever come across!) and a walk with a squat in the lawns with a bunch of awesome buddies!

good food, a walk with a great friend and lots of laughter!

:-) such is life!! (at least has been over the past few days!!)

foktai!

(felt like this!)

Sheer bliss! (now u'll say when isn't she blissful! :-D) well... that's the way I am! Suddenly baithe-baithe we three mad crazy females (Ruchi, Nitika and yours truly) decide that we've attended enough classes of "Financial Management" (doesn't the name itself make you feel like running miles away?) and so we bunk! Bunk to kar le par nobody had any money, so ran up to another friend and asked, "how much money do u have?"! The poor guy completely zonked with the sudden question coupled with giggly smiles on three female faces instantly took out his wallet and usme jitne paise the gave it all to us! (chill...t'was just a saviour 20 bucks!) Now we were fully equipped to bunk class!

Aim: foktai karna
Place: tapri
Supporting equipment: the tapri mixture, chai and the will to do loads of bakar

I know now u'll say 3 females don't do bakar! They gossip!! Well, for a change we did bakar!! :-D

Typical girl talk kind of bakar, but yes bakar!!

Time flies in such situations doesn't it? Well, our bliss was also about to end but not without a walk on the campus lawns - barefoot in mid afternoon! 2 poor souls passed us by as we were walking with trousers folded and slippers in hand on the wet grass under the warm sun! One just didn't care (though I can bet he was laughing on the inside!) and the other couldn't help but smile and shake his head n go "jaddah!!!"

Well, the minute we reached the institute building and rolled down our trousers (even before we wore our slippers..) "Lets go check our attendance na, if there's some left we'll bunk this also!"(the 'this' being another dreadful thing called Human Resource Management!) :-D and sure enough, all of us had at least 1 bunk left!!

Need i say more...!

Just so...

Well! I have to record this... I managed to make it through the night workin on a mad crazy MR (marketing research) report with just an hour n a half of sleep!! :-) and I ran to class 'coz from the moment I opened my eyes this morning I had just 8 mins to get there!

I know my bestest buddies will all be screaming and taking my case after this - but hey! c'mon na... pleeeeeeeaaaasssssssseeeeee!!!

You know that's what an MBA really is - a kind of "survival training"!! And there are two ways of looking at it:

"If it doesn't killl you, it makes you stronger!"
or
"If it doesn't kill you, it really fucks you up!"

Your call!

(P.S. - twas fun! ;-) )

Bliss!

There's this thing called a "dal vada" that you get in this part of the country! It's truly amazing, especially when garnished with fresh n strong onions n green chillies!! Add to that a plate of maska bun (bun dripping with pathetically salted butter!) and ek pyaali chai! And some mast ghaati music!

What do I say - bliss! (sundar, sasta n tikau!!) :-D










(Most of you wll have completely given up over me by now!!!)

the grace of a woman!

Well, rainy days and mondays! I'd rather, rainy days n sari days!! (we need to wear formals every monday - the demands of an MBA!) Not complaining about either - totally love the romance of both!! :-) Go ahead! Call me a nut...

Well here's a li'l something I found on the net about the sari a long time back and it suddenly struck my head again today - I guess thats 'coz I was wearin one of Ma's most favorite saris! (she totally made this terrible face when I took it out of her almirah to take it with me!!). Well, here it goes:

A charming folktale explains...," The Sari, it is said was born on the loom of a fanciful weaver. He dreamt of a Woman, the shimmer of her tears, the drape of her tumbling hair, the colours of her many moods, the softness of her touch. All these he wove together, he couldn't stop. He wove for many yards. When he was done, as the story goes, he sat back and smiled and smiled and smiled..."

How romantic is that!! I totally fell in love with the story... And doesn't a woman truly look just so amazing in some beautifully draped 6 yards of fabric? (in sum parts of the country even 9 yards!!)

Intuition!

http://anathema.rockmetal.art.pl/mp3/anathema-are_you_there.mp3

I just totally luv the music. The lyrics are a li'l depressing so don't try to hard too listen to them...
Just listen to the music! It always manages to take me to another world!

And I don't know why but it's been playing in a loop in my head for almost 24hrs now!Something like this when it happens to me is generally a signal of some kind of change in my life waiting to happen!!

Wish me luck folks! Will tell ya when stuff happens!

:-)

?.....!

Starts with a name and ends with a question mark!!

Don't race the mind horses too far! It's you!! It's me! Hey it's all of us!!

Think about it - all of us are identifiable with our names, but do we really know ourselves? The life blood that makes us?? The thoughts that form us??

Or do we just walk through it all superficially? Without really ever knowing?!!

There are so many times when I sit down to think about the "correct and perfect" answer to who am i? Here's the song that plays in my head then:

I’m the darkness in the light
I’m the leftness in the right
I’m the rightness in the wrong
I’m the shortness in the long
I’m the goodness in the bad
I’m the saneness in the mad
I’m the sadness in the joy
I’m the gin in the gin-soaked boy

I’m the ghost in the machine
I’m the genius in the gene
I’m the beauty in the beast
I’m the sunset in the east
I’m the ruby in the dust
I’m the trust in the mistrust
I’m the trojan horse in troy
I’m the gin in the gin-soaked boy

I’m the tiger’s empty cage
I’m the mystery’s final page
I’m the stranger’s lonely glance
I’m the hero’s only chance
I’m the undiscovered land
I’m the single grain of sand
I’m the christmas morning toy
I’m the gin in the gin-soaked boy

I’m the world you’ll never see
I’m the slave you’ll never free
I’m the truth you’ll never know
I’m the place you’ll never go
I’m the sound you’ll never hear
I’m the course you’ll never steer
I’m the will you’ll not destroy
I’m the gin in the gin-soaked boy

I’m the half-truth in the lie
I’m the why not in the why
I’m the last roll of the die
I’m the old school in the tie
I’m the spirit in the sky
I’m the catcher in the rye
I’m the twinkle in her eye
I’m the jeff goldblum in the fly

Who am i?

(owe it to divine comedy for belting it out!)

Point is, in the end we are all walking talking question marks!! With an excalamation mark to accompany it every now and then!!
:-)

Another beautiful day, another reason to celebrate!

Well, shows over folks! (holi came n went!)

Was thinking about 'celebration moments'! Hey they can be as small as finding this lost desperately needed safety pin to as big as your own wedding to the man of your dreams!! :-D

'Everybody needs somebody, you can be with anybody!" - hey u can even sit alone and smile away if your heart is happy! A song in your heart and a dance in your step... trust me, not just is your day made, you make so many others' day too!

Was foktaoing with a couple of frenz today! We were all just sitting in the institute lawns and were happy to be over the grass and under the moon, so much so that there was no real conversation or anything, just a nice happy content feeling! (and that too after a really nice home cooked meal! - whichby the way is bliss for a hosteler)


well... another beautiful day, another reason to celebrate!

Happy holi!!!

Well... all of us know of the Hiranyakashyap, Prahlad and Holika story!

Here's another one: (jus found it!)

The Kamadeva is the God of love. Kama's body was destroyed when he shot his weapon at Shiva in order to disrupt his penance and help Parvati to marry Shiva. Shiva then opened his third eye, the gaze of which was so powerful that Kama's body was reduced to ashes. For the sake of Kama's wife Rati (passion), Shiva restored him, but only as a mental image, representing the true emotional and mental state of love rather than physical lust. The Holi bonfire is believed to be celebrated in commeration of this event.

Have the most amazing time! cheers!

The rollercoaster ride!

"found what i lost inside...

my spirit has been purified!" - oasis

That's exactly the way i'm feeling! It's like in the depth of winter you find in you an invincible summer! And then suddenly its spring! :-)

Small beginnings, great expectations, dreams, thoughts, love, laughter, tears, grief, pain..... that whole cycle happend in a span of a miniscule moment! Trust me it's a whirlwind experience but it rforms and reaffrims you!

I know there's a lot of code here... well, i'll starighten things a lil. Read 'alpha omega'?

My ride -

From this:

Suddenly the eyes are pools of water..(eyes of the soul)
Suddenly the heart just doesn’t skip a beat..(if it’s back, that is!)
Suddenly the arms just don’t stretch..(they are wrapped around her)

The omega stands alone! Alpha’s omega is now just Omega…the alpha-omega is no more.

To this:

Alpha incomplete without his omega…

lost…wandering…silently suffering…

Omega…waiting for her alpha’s call…

Well..yet again…
The Alpha – Omega

Forever intertwining!!

quite a ride na?!!

om shanti shanti!

I dunno...

I've been writing stuff and deleting it for the past 2 days now! Expression has completely deserted me! A very good friend has also gone on to ask, "itni shanti kyon hai bhai?". In response... "more shanti!" (yea yea yea... go ahead, ask! 'ye shanti kaun hai?!')

Well... that's it I guess till shanti's around!! :-D

You know what? Over the past week i've like completely realized that i'm one of the luckiest people around!! There are just sooooooooooooooo............... many people I can turn to when i'm down n out! Gosh it feels so good (i feel good! ta da da da!). It gives you this warm fuzzy feeling to know that you actually have so many"friends" :-)

I would have gotten kicked had I said it to you all directly... so using this space...

Thanks guys! I really couldn't have made it over the past few days without you all! All of u talking to me, giving me a smile each morning, calling me up, taking me out, willingly getting blackmailed by me.... you guys are all better than the bestest! It's so completely amazing to have you all as part of my world! Cherish ya all (loads n loads)!!

(I totally love this pic of snoopy and the gang! It's so happy na!!)

love is... (gosh a lot of things!)

In conversation in Anubhav's register in class....

I'd read this on this place called coolsig.com, "Love is like pi=3.1416... natural, irrational and absolutely necessary to life!" It just came into my head during the MR lecture today and I jotted it down in Anubhav's register! Me being the khurafaati that I am, I bugged the hell out of him to give me a comment on the line... ultimatley thak haar ke he wrote (in red), "Incompetent to comment!" I just couldn't stop laughing. So then Dada (Arindam) ki curiosity jaag uthi and after a helluva lot of deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...............................p thought he wrote something completely profound... "Love is like pi = 22/7. It makes a 22 year old adult behave like a 7 year old kid!"

Think about it... true, ain't it?!









:-)

well... rambling!

Well... i've always been a nitwit! so there!

Like a friend of mine said, "but aneesha some people do really fly!"
I can't agree more 'coz i'm flyin now!

(those of u who know how much my weight is can please stifle their laughter on that one!)

The point here is that the alpha and the omega are forever intertwining! They meet to nullify each others emptiness... that's why they stay together! If one forgets to spread it's wings, the other helps it to... and eventually the 3 year old turns to a 30 year old (maybe even more) and realizes that FLYING is also a figurative term! (gosh! i take too many things literally! my imagination needs some serious exercise!... yea yea yea... go ahead say it... i do too!! :-D)

This post is actually a true and complete ramble out of the deepest depths of my heart 'coz i'm happy. I get wierd when i'm happy! (though they say i'm best when wierdest! ;) ) So if this post goes overboard, don't fret n don't expect an explanantion!! 'coz these are the ramblings of my soul!

The Alpha Omega!

(the omega)

Almost waif like…

white.. scared..

searching…..

An embrace…

warm.. loving..

comforting…..
(alpha's)

Apprehensive yet accepting!

Comforted yet un-submitting!

Believing yet questioning!

(the omega with alpha)

Engulfing…silencing…

The Alpha – Omega

Forever intertwining!!

things change.. people change!

Picture this... "this 3 yr old kid who's just seen a bird fly n who stands on the bed and flaps his hands wildly trying to fly believing that if he flaps them a lil faster he will be able to do it. But everyone knows he won't. And after a few tries he also realizes but still wants to fly... . desperately wants to be like that bird!" (credit to pawan for the concept! thanx ya!)

Ever wanted something so bad yet so helplessly? Amazing isnt it? We want to be so many things... we want to do so many things... what restricts us? And when u can't do it you feel like this 2 yr old child who's just lost his mostest favouitest toy!

But then u move on... we all do..! We can stay where we are for only so long...
"Change is inevitable! Change is constant!"

Love is.... flubber!

I’m sure that statement evokes a very very puzzled expression… half questioning half ridiculing rite?!

Chill…it’s not nearly as weird…think of flubber not as green but as white n glowing…white – the sanctum of love… glowing – the warmth of love!

Ho hum…I still see the weird expressions… this warrants more explanation… it’s like this.. Love can not be broken..it can only just be stretched to its outer limits and yes…it bounces back (in a different form maybe but ya it duz bounce back)!!

Sometimes it just whirs from top to bottom engulfing you in its warm fuzzy glow… sometimes it just decides to take a walk…n bounce around… sometimes it stays put…waiting to be cradled n nurtured…other times finds its “soulflubber” n sticks to it n then well…sparks fly! Sometimes it just engulfs you like a cold cold wrap n makes u feel lost n lonely n cut out…other times it sticks under your shoes n makes you jump for joy!!